Modern Nomad Seeks Friends

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.   -Johnn Carson

Of every dollar produced in America, twenty cents goes to fund the government and its programs. (How come I don't see any of this money, except for the student loans that I have to pay back?)

Los Angeles, CA - A Los Angeles public school had been named after the late criminal defense lawyer Johnnie Cochran (So if you want something named after you, all you gotta do is be associated with the OJ trail.)

The United States has the most Internet DSL broadband subscribers, followed by China and Japan. (Hey, we gotta be first atleast in something.)

Lexington, KY - A high school Spanish teacher was suspended for showing the R-rated movie 'The 40-year-old-Virgin' to his class.

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal -Richard Nixon (Just look at the person who said this *lol*)

Follow your bliss.  Find where it is and don't be afraid to follow it. - Joseph Campbell

The largest book in the world is about the landscape of the country of Bhutan.  It weighs more than 130 pounds and costs $15,000.00 (Who the hell wants a book about a country, I've never heard of.  And anyone who would pay that much for a book like that, is CRAZY!!!)

Hasbrouck Heights, NJ - A male high school senior has won the right to wear skirts to school. (I don't see a problem with this.  Guys have been doing this for ages over in the UK.  So why not here as well?)

Portland, OR - In a fit of rage, a man threw both of his prosthetic legs at a police officer. (Talk about someone being disgruntal)

No matter how long you have gone on a wrong road, turn back. - Turkish proverb (Now if only male drivers would listen to this)

Chicago, IL - After a woman was arrested for drunk driving, she slipped off her handcuffs and stole the police officer's car. (That's what happens when skinny girls drink, and are determined to get home)

Do not take life to seriously.  You will NEVER get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard

Madrid, Spain - Animal righs activists appeared nude in a brisk January weather in order to protest against fur coats. (I bet you some of those ladies were sporting some fur though.  And how come most of those activist that do that, aren't the ones we want to see naked.  Now don't get me wrong, if I was out there protesting, I wouldn't want to see myself naked either *lol*)

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

There is a town in Pennsylvania known simply as '84'

Sydney, Australia - A woman redeemed a winning lottery ticket 14 years late, but still received the prize money of nearly $100,000.

There are no eyebrows on the famous Mona Lisa painting.

Berlin, Germany - A man got stuck in a toilet stall at a highway rest stop because the latch froze shut.

Rome, Italy - A new Italian study has shown that couples with TV's in their bedrooms have sex half as much as couples who do not. (So wanna get more from that signaficant other, take out your TV)

New Bedford, MA - A two year old girl was mistakenly summoned for jury duty. (I could just see this.  The little girl comes in, and is like 'Guilty, because he/she doesn't like the Wiggles')

Stockholm, Sweden - A new play that is geared for babies ages 6 to 12 months premiered in Stockholm. (Parents just need to buy some Baby Eistein, or Leap Frog videos)

Anchorage, AK - A man who robbed a hotel whith his face painted blue was arrested after police saw stains on his forehead and neck. (Now what does this teach us?  If you're going to rob anyplace, use a mask!)

Great Falls, MT - A 1,200 pound cow escaped from a slaughterhouse and led police on a long, wild chase before finally being captured. (Smart Cow!)

Baker, CA - A man hopped for 12 hours through the desert after he wrapped his feet in chains, fastened it with a lock and then lost the key. (Always make sure you give an extra key to someone before you do something like this.)

In 2005 the US Federal Government spent over $78,000.00 every single second.

Toronto, Canada - A man is expressing his displeaser at his bank by paying his bills a penny at a time.

Oklahoma City, OK - An anti-gay pastor was arrested for propositioning a male undercover police officer.

In the future everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes. - Andy Warhol.

San Francisco, CA - A California couple went to Las Vegas for the weekend and left their two young children (5 and 9) at home alone. (What kind of idiot parents are they?)

Voorhees, NJ - An 8 month old kitten accidentally hitched a ride on a carriage of an SUV for 70 miles on the NJ Turnpike.

What pet habitat has the city of Rome, Italy recently outlawed? (Goldfish bowls)

New York - A PETA staff member has legally changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com

London, England - A drunk and abusive airline passenger was deposited on a remote island by the pilot and crew. (Damn why can't we just do this to anyone who's drunk and abusive?)

Jackson, MO - An hour after being put on probation for drunk driving, a man was caught ordering alcohol at a resturant.

Morgantown, WV - Firefighters were called to help a woman who was locked out of her car by her pet cat.

Richmond, CA - A porn actress is being charged with child rape for her relationship with a 15-year-old boy. (How dumb can people be?)

Blue Springs, MO - During an argument over a cell phone, a woman swallowed the phone whole rather than hand it over to her boyfriend.

McAlester, OK - A woman delivered a 14 pound 3 ounce baby girl. (All I have to say is, DAMN!)

Tokyo, Japan - Biodegrable socks made from corn fiber will appear on store shelves in Japan shortly.

Washington, DC - A woman robbed four banks all while talking on her cell phone.

Stockholm, Sweden - Two moose, drunk from eating fermented apples, wandered into a Sweden retirement home.

Chicago, IL - A woman claims that she found a dead turtle inside her container of Folder's coffee.

San Bernardino, CA - A woman plans to wed her boyfriend, despite the fact that he shot her and then held her hostage.

Berkley, CA - A letter carrier has delivered mail everyday for the past 28 years. Seven days a week, 365 days a year.

Arlington, TX - A man robbed a bank while wearing a Santa hat that was pulled down over his eyes. (Great way for kids to be exposed to Santa.)

London, England - A man dressed as Santa Clause is going around town exposing himself to unsuspecting women.

Wellington, New Zealand - Forty people in Santa costumes rampaged the city as a protest to the commercialization of Christmas. (If you're gonna dress up like Santa, do something more interesting, like the two above)

Gary, IN - A 10 year old boy tried to buy food at his school cafeteria using a counterfeit $20 bill that he printed from his computer.

Istanbul, Turkey - A man ran away with his friend's wife is now offering up his own wife as a fair trade. (But how fair can the trade be if he didn't want her in the first place?)

Matthew McGrory of Pennsylvania had the world's largest feet on record. He wore shoes size 29.5 (Well we all know what they say about guys with big shoes ......... Big Feet)

Rome, Italy - Scientists have identified a molecule that triggers the sensations that humans experience when they fall in love.

London, UK - Authorities are still searching for four chipmunks that escaped a recreational facility. (Because they don't have anything better to do)

Toronto, Canada - An experimental program will allow prisoners to get tattoos at a prison-run parlor.

The largest bubble ever blown in bubble gum was 23 inches in diameter.  Susan Williams did it in 1994.

Portland, OR - A man was accused of stealing over $200,000.00 worth of Lego sets.

Springfield, IL - A drunked man attempted to outrun police on a stolen lawnmower.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. - Johnny Carson

Sex is the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. - John Barrymore.

So I don't have anything really exciting for this entry.  Just some pictures of my bedroom, after I redid it.  Which I must say I'm pretty damn proud of.  And at the end are pictures of my Godson, Ryan.  Who, in my biased opinion, is one of the cutest babies ever.

Squirrel weddings love snap blue light snow.

Keep off the grey winter apple while morning is dreaming of spring.

Birds in fire fly as if a petal dance on a rainy storming summer night.

I've been staring at this screen for the past 20 minutes, not knowing what to write, but knowing that I need to write.  I went and saw 'The Family Stone' last weekend.  It truely wasn't as funny as I thought it would have been.  Or should have been.  I'm sure everyone has been to a movie where the previews for it show excatly what the movie is going to be about.  And then there are those previews that show a movie in a completely different light then what the movie really is about.  And the later is what this movie was to me.  I cried more than I should have at a movie like that.  But at the same time it made me miss my family.  We're big and dysfunctional, just like the 'Stone's' are.  And how they were is excately how my family is with anyone that one of our siblings bring home.  Just take a look at my sister, Erin's blog.  Now if anything were to happen between her and the pimp, no matter how cool he is, we would all put him through shit.

Right now I'm watching 'The United States of Leland'.  Only about halfway through it.  But so far it's pretty good. Of course of Friday nights I'm really bad about watching movies because half of my head is writing, while the other half is watching the movie, and looking at the actors thinking about the delivery of their lines, and the camera angles, the lighting, etc.  Not normal stuff that I'm sure people think about, but I want to direct one day, even if it's on a low-budget, below indie film.

In other news from Westchester county, New York.  We've been having some really strange weather around here latelly.  This past week has been kinda warm, except for Wednesday.  Or some day this week.  All the days just kinda are meshed together.  But one day it was really warm, like 60 or something.  Then the next day there was snow on the ground, and we had a really bad storm.  We lost power for a whole day.  Which was not fun at all.  Especially since I had gotten up late that day, hadn't showered yet, and basically looked like shit.  It was not a fun day, plus the kids didn't nap.  We had to eat dinner by candle lit.  And when I went to Target to get another flashlight, and more batteries for my other one, they were basically out of everything. I wanted to scream.  After having to deal with everything else for that day it wasn't fun.

Enough of this rambling bullshit.  I've been knitting, or trying to knit cables.  But of course something will happen when I'm like five or six rows into it, stop, tear everything out, and start over again.  But of course it's getting easier to read those heiroglyphic type patterns that are associated to them.  Hopefully I remember to get some pictures once I get past that sixth row, and get them developed and everything.  They will be coming soon.

I started my Mariah hoodie the other day.  But of course as a "novice" knitter, I don't know how to do certain things.  And usually the way that I learn things is I just jump right in and do them.  But since Mariah is basically the whole reason I started knitting. (I absolutely adore this hoodie, and the way that it looks.)  So today I pulled out the old Stitch 'n Bitch book, searched the net (Got some really good free cable patterns from the girl from auntie which I can't wait to start.  And happily I'm using some of the "scrap" yarn that I have.  If you can even call it that, it's a whole untouched skein of Lopi.  I owe my brother a scarf, and hat for a really late Christmas present, so maybe these will turn into that.  So as I type this, I have a calbe needle sitting in my hair, so I must continue with this "learning" process.

On a bonus I'm heading into the city tomorrow, for a belated Birthday celebration since I found out that I don't have to work on Monday.  So I totally will be hitting up some LYS.  Should be posting lots of yarn porn in the next couple of days, hopefully.

I'm sure a lot of you have looked at the title of this post, and are thinking to yourself "Resolutions?  What it's already almost the middle of January.  What is this chick thinking?"  Well basically, after mad travelling, and then trying to get my life back in order once back home.  Last weekend I went on this huge "I'm gonna organize my room and life" thing, so I went out and bought lots of stuff.  The only problem was that I kinda got sick on Sunday, the day I was suppose to go out and celebrate my Birthday, so I kinda lost the whole organizing mood.  So now I'm just in this whole "I want my room back, and clean" mood.  I'm finally trying to kick my own ass, and get out of that funk that I'm in.  And after reading the two blogs that I'm addicted to, well basically one now, which is my sister's, I've decided that I need to have my own list of "resolutions".  So here they are, in no particular order.

1. Apply fully (and get accepted) to some college.  I really need to start taking, atleast some basic, classes to get myself back in the college groove.  I refuse to be some bum without a college degree.  If I'm gonna be a bum, I'm gonna atleast have a college degree to back it up.  Now also don't get my wrong, I love my job that I have right now.  But I really don't want to be a nanny when I'm 30.

2. Finish all knitting and crocheting projects that I have started.  I have a shawl that I've been working on for the past, ooooh year and a half that I desperately need to finish.  Plus two backpacks that I've been "working" on for the past 4 to 5 months.  I think my problem with projects is that I get really bored with them.  When it comes to colour work, or something challenging I can't wait to get it finished, and do knit on it rather fastly, and continuiously.  But when things are just plain knit and purl, st stitches.  Which is really bad because that's a lot of what knitting is.  Also with knitting stuff I want to attend more SnB meetings/groups.  I need to meet more people, around my age, that knit.

3. Save up for a laptop for myself. (Right now all I have is my fab Sidekick II, and I use my bosses' laptop when I'm babysitting on the weekend.)  So that way I can update more often, which is another resolution.  And it will help with number 1.  Also save up for "The Trip" that's gonna happen in a year.  I'm not sure if I'm allowed to talk about "The Trip." But it's there, and it's coming.  So I need to start saving for it.

4. Update more on here.  And reply to people's comments, and e-mails.  This goes along with the whole lackadasical(sp?) thing that I've got going on.  And to those who have e-mailed me, and left comments, I'm truelly and utterly sorry that I haven't replied and thanked you.  What I end up doing is opening the e-mails, reading them, automatically deleting them, and then saying "Awww, Damn it!!!  That was really nice, I should e-mail them back."  But of course by this point they're already gone.

5. Work-out more.  I know, typical fat girl thing to say.  But a little over a year ago I was in a size 14, which is the smallest that I've ever been.  Of course I was at a job where I walked about 20 miles a night.  Once I left that job, I was "laid off" (which is a completely 'nother entry) I basically gained back all my weight, and went to a size 20.  I'm sorta inbetween a size 18 and 16.  But of course I miss my size 14 jeans.  And even though being a nanny is a good work-out, playing chase, hide 'n go seek, pushing a stroller with 70+ lbs in it for a few hours at the mall, isn't going to cut it anymore.

6. Brush up on my Spanish, and learn some French.  Both for "The Trip." But also because there are a lot of Spanish speaking people that live around in my area.  I wouldn't mind learing a little Russian, Gaelic, and Thai along with it.  But French and Spanish are the main two right now.

7. Act more like a "normal" 22 year old would act.  Because of my job my "social life" consists of playdates with other kids, and like said in number 5, playing peek-a-boo, correcting tatrums, teaching sharing, etc.  And my entertainment includes mostly the Disney channel, "The Wiggles", "The Doodlebops", "Charlie and Lola", and "Little Einsteins".  Which are all fine shows.  But when you go out to a bar or something with other people, no one else my age is going to know what I'm talking about.  Along with actually going out, and trying to meet people.  Making friends, working on my small talk/conversations skills.  I was at a party a few months ago, and I ended up correcting someone because they were trying to get by where I was walking, and they didn't say "Excuse me." Which is funny now that I think about it, but yeah another thing that I'm sure no other 22 year old is out doing.

8. Become more of a real New Yorker.  I happen to hate tourist sites in the city, but of course because I work all the time, I haven't been able to really experience the city.  I can get myself around, use the subway correctly, and give some directions correctly.  But I still don't have that favorite hang out place there, or my favorite bar.  And that's what I want.

So I think that's all the resolutions.  A few more might possibly be added in the future, but I'm not allowing myself to add anything past January 20th.  Strange, I know, but that's me.

Now onto the Birthday part.  My 22nd Birthday was on Monday, the 9th.  I, of course, worked that day.  So I didn't really do anything to exciting.  My boss took me out to dinner, with the kids, which was extremely nice.  And then had a Birthday cake for me.  Which is the first, true Birthday cake I've had in 3 years.  I did get some cool presents from my bosses', and the kids of course.  Two gift cards, One for Borders.  And almost anyone who knows me knows that I live there basically.  I'm sure that's where I'll meet my future boyfriend or something.  And the other was for Banana Republic.  Which means I can get something very girly, probably a dress.  Along with the gift cards were some knifty gadgets to go with the iPod nano that I got from the kids for Christmas.  The slightly sad thing is, even though it was a pretty lame birthday and I didn't do anything, it was the best one I've had in 3 years.  I'm hoping to go out this weekend for my Birthday.  Very belated, I know, but atleast it's something.  Hopefully it'll be almost as crazy as the night I got locked in a parking garage, without the getting locked in part.

PS.  Happy Birthday to my mom, who was on the 10th.  And to my Bestest Friend Megan, who is 21 Finally!!! today on the 13th.

So it is now January 3rd, which means that there are only 6 more days until my 22nd birthday. Which means that it'll fall on a Monday, which of course means I'll be working. Now normally this wouldn't bother me, but let me go over what's been doing down the past couple of weeks. Well there was the week before Christmas, which of course I worked 5 days. Then Christmas and Christmas Eve took up that weekend. So basically I worked all week, because I'm a "nice person" and keep tabs of the kids when we all go to a party. Plus anytime I go out with the family I work for, I basically don't know ANYONE so I have to do something to keep myself busy. So there was no down time for me, just basically all stress. And then the next week (which was last week) we left for Florida. Which don't get me wrong is great, because like today it's 82° here, and a snow storm back in New York. (And of course we're leaving today, which means once again I'm stuck in the airport for like an extra two hours or something. And with two kids to entertain this time, it really isn't fun.) But you also have to look at it from my point of view. While this is a little mini-vacation for the family, I'm working. And because it's more than just the normal 5 days, I work the whole time. So this is a second week that I'm working straight. And of course what did I do on New Year's Eve, instead of celebrating the first one that I could legally drink, and living in New York, I was babysitting the kids until 1:30am. And of course I didn't even get to watch it on tv, I passed out for like an hour and woke up at 12:30am.
So now it's Tuesday, and we're on our way back to New York, which means I work all this week too. Which is week 3 with no break. And then this weekend I'm babysitting Saturday night because my boss' birthday is Tuesday of next week. And then their also going to the Giants Game on Sunday, which means I'm babysitting again. When I was asked about Sunday I should have said no, but of course I'm to "nice" of a person. But basically my birthday is gonna be like every other one I've had for the past 22 years, over-shawdowed by someone else's (my mom and my boss share the same birthday. So my birthday is never ever gonna be just mine. Which kills me.) It will also be spent like every other one I've had for the past three years, spent by myself. Only possibly buying myself a cake, and no one to sing Happy Birthday to me. (Last year my sister living in Taiwan did call me and make her class of 4 year olds sing Happy Birthday to me, which was MAD cute, but just not the same as her being here and singing it to me. And in the end made me miss her even more.) So I'm basically working 4 weeks in a row with no days off. I'm getting stressed out by it, and feeling like I have no life. Which I basically don't.
Enough of my whining, and bitching, and complaining. I'm hoping that my flight gets me into New York tonight, and that maybe I can think of something kick ass to do for my birthday a week later.